As parents we should ALWAYS concerned with our kid’s safety. But, if we let that concern become an unbalanced OCD obsession, we are limiting our children’s development in becoming self-reliant adults when we can no longer be there for them.
We HAVE to at some point (typically in the early teens) start becoming more concerned with the development of their MARTIAL SKILL-SET’S rather than their safety, why? Because it is THOSE SKILLS that will help keep them self-sufficient and safe!
I would also add that as a parent knowing they have these skills will ease your mind later on when they are out of the house on their own and you wake up at 3 a.m. thinking about them and their safety! Been there, done that!
So what do I mean when I say Martial Skills?
Am I talking about enrolling them in a BJJ or Tae-Kwon-Do class? Yeah that could be part of it, but only a very small part. The bulk of the skills I am talking about can be and should be PARENT TAUGHT.
Now I am not going to go into all the skill’s a parent could teach a kid because if I did this essay would be over 10K words! Suffice to say my blog is chocked full of ideals, just use the search bar!
I will say the best Martial Skills a parent can teach boils down to this:
Awareness>Avoidance>Deterrence>De-Escalation
Awareness. I still remember my dad talking about the Cooper Color Codes when I was a teen and routinely telling me to be in Code Yellow when we would go to Houston to visit relatives. (He would also later use the Modern Technique to teach me how to shoot a handgun).
Avoidance. My dad called it the “stupid rule.” Staying away from STUPID people and DANGEROUS (stupid) Places. That one piece of advice has saved me countless hassles in my life!
Deterrence. This can be a tricky one to teach but very often it involves #1. If a predator knows you are aware of him and his game he is highly unlikely to carry through with his plan. The other side of this is learning to use your voice. As Craig Williams discusses in Managing Unknown Contacts the ability to project awareness and strength on the street comes down to volume and aggression.
De-Escalation. This skill boils down to teaching a kid to turn off the aggression and begin nudging the encounter in another direction. To put it in simple terms, it’s the subtle art of bullshit! Talking your way out of something often involves employing Carnegie’s concepts of How to Win Friends and Influence People, which consequently is taught to undercover drug informants!
