This is a work of Short Fiction. The names, characters and incidents portrayed in this short story are entirely fictional and are of the author’s imagination. Any resemblance to actual events, locales or organizations or persons living or dead, is entirely coincidental.
Somewhere in the mid-west in the not too distant Future.
I was chopping wood behind the barn when one of the dogs began barking and looking out toward the main road. Taking a step around the barn I spotted a Black SUV idling in the road. I wiped the sweat from my brow with my forearm as I shaded my eyes with my hand in time to see the vehicle slowly turn into my long driveway. Letting out a breath and shaking my head with disgust I walked into the barn and told my brother who was tinkering with the tractor to go inside the house and get ready for company. I then walked over to a pail of cold water and washed my face and the back of my neck and after drying off walked to the front of the house. As the SUV was pulling up I took a seat in a lawn chair by the blooming blue hydrangea bush and began packing my pipe for a smoke.
As soon as the two men exited the vehicle I made both of them for federal stooges. Cheap haricuts and suits with the standard issue oakley sunglasses and the useless and faulty N95 masks. They both did a cursory scan of the property and then took interview stances about ten feet away from me.
“Good Afternoon sir. I am special agent Giddings and this is my partner special agent Marks. We are both with the Department of Domestic Security and Well-Being. We are looking for Mason Hightower.”
I puffed my pipe to life and exhaled the first batch of bluish-grey smoke into the humid afternoon air.
“You found him fella” I said flatly.
Agent Giddings nodded and following his interview training by the numbers, attempted some levity to further gain my trust and break the ice.
“Excellent! Our navigation assistant was right for once Agent Marks, can you believe it!”
As Giddings and Marks giggled together like mentally deficient children, I remained stoic, puffing my pipe and giving the impression this entire encounter was about as thrilling as me trimming my toenails. Seeing my impatience, Gidding’s smile and laughter dissipated and he got down to business.
“Mr. Hightower we are following up on a tip we received via our new app “Neighbor Nanny” which allows law-abiding comrades of the State to include local health care providers to report serious covid mandate violations of their fellow neighbors and co-workers.”
I stared at the man like he was lower than a monkey turd.
“Yes sir, well your local health clinic has reported that you are in violation of Covid Mandate 617.85 which clearly states all Children under the age of twelve must report for vaccination within seventy-two hours of notification. You currently have three children that are all under the age of twelve that have not reported to the clinic for vaccination, are you aware of that Mr. Hightower?”
I noticed both agents stances were now fully bladed and their hands at their waist line.
“Yes I am aware of that.” I answered, as I finished my pipe and tapped the spent bowl on the bottom of my boot.
Giddings curled an eyebrow at my response and for the first time a look of insolence came across his face. Before he could speak however I hit him with a zinger.
“Which is why I would like to ask you kind gentleman if you could help me round up the little rascals? They are such a handful at this age and me being a single parent, well, I don’t mind telling you they can stretch my limitations at times!”
Giddings and Marks looked at each other with a confounding smile.
“While yes sir! We would be glad to help you!” Agent Marks answered gleefully.
“Thank you so much! They are just inside the house here…” I replied as I led the way up the steps to the front door.
Opening the front door I led them down the hallway to the living room.
“Come on in, make yourself at home gentleman, let me see if I can locate the little hooligans…”
I gave them both a reassuring smile and then walked out of the living room into the kitchen where I flipped a red switch which automatically locked all doors and windows in the house and began distribution of an odorless, colorless sleeping gas through the main ventilation system in the house. After waiting around a minute I walked back into the living room to find Agent Marks and Giddings collapsed on the floor and out cold.
“It’s a good thing this gas only works on humans” My brother commented as he walked into the living room from upstairs with two aero-pods floating behind him.
“Yes, another ingenius invention by our Bio-Weapons department, but I do wish they could make these mask where they don’t itch so badly…” I replied as I tore the human face off myself with wet sucking sound and discarded it to allow my delicate translucent blue skin underneath to breathe and my eye tentacles to extend and rotate.
My brother followed suit, tearing off his face as well.
“Oh by the Hand of Neftu of Orion that is so much better!” he replied as his eye tentacles and proboscis extended to their full height.
We loaded up both of the humans on the aero-pods and moved them upstairs to the cryo chamber.
“When is the next pickup” I asked opening the cryo chute
“In two days” my brother replied.
I entered the proper code and the aero pod slipped into the cryo chamber with a quick hiss of air.
“The Research Department are very anxious to start dissection on these two. They want to discover why it is a species would knowingly spread lies and propaganda to murder their own offspring with poison under the guise of so called vaccinations and boosters? It is a biological conundrum they hope to solve.” I replied watching the cryo chamber process the pods.
“There is no conundrum to solve. From their inception this species has always invented new reasons to kill themselves off. If you ask me we should just bide our time. In another century we will be able to take over this planet without ever lifting a finger.”
I pondered my brother’s words for a moment then turned around and headed back downstairs.
“Come on let’s go get suited up. Who knows what kind of people they will send around next to arrest us for not wanting to willingly murder our own offspring.”
My brother laughed so hard at the joke he had to reach up and wipe bio-slime from his eye tentacle.
